


A Song to My Lover

by AP_Blue (orphan_account)



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Drabble, Embarrassment, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Not Beta Read, Singing, sex mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:47:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24883321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/AP_Blue
Summary: Jaskier and Geralt have been on a long and boring journey, so the bard decides to spice things up with a song.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I based this off an inside joke I have with my husband about the lyrics, this is almost _exactly_ how we sing to each other. Thought it might be a funny idea. Hope you guys enjoy.

“ _From when the White Wolf fought, a silver-tongued devil, his army of--_ ”

“Jaskier, enough!” Geralt snapped. He was now beginning to reach his limit with how much he was willing to put up with Jaskier’s antics. They had been traveling through the woods for a few days now, barely stopping to rest, and the exhaustion from the long trip was slowly whittling down his patience.

“Cranky, are we? You usually like my songs,” Jaskier said with a smile.

The smile was unreturned. “You know that’s not true.”

“That’s not how it seemed when you heard my remix,” Jaskier smirked. “That was one of the few times I’ve actually heard a laugh from you.”

Geralt ignored him, continuing to walk ahead with Roach’s rein in his hand. The comment was embarrassingly true, but he knew that if he gave Jaskier the satisfaction of a response, he wouldn’t let it go.

“Perhaps you need a refresher.” Jaskier took in a deep breath, causing Geralt’s head to whip around.

“Don’t you dare--”

Unfortunately for Geralt, his threats didn’t work on Jaskier, for the bard was one of the few that didn’t fear his power. He both loved and hated that fact.

“ _At the tip of his cock, feel his mighty horn, that thrusts in and breaks you, and brings you to moan~_ ”

“Jaskier!” Geralt stepped forward to try and grab his lute, but Jaskier reacted in time, jumping back so he could continue his song.

“ _Beneath his hands’ embrace, he came onto my face, my lover The Witcher, wiped it off without a trace~_ ”

Jaskier waggled his eyebrows, and Geralt groaned as he buried his face in his hands. How the hell does someone react to lyrics like those? And how does Jaskier sing about it without hesitation every time? Had Geralt allowed it, he was sure it would be a song that Jaskier wouldn’t mind performing in front of a crowd. They both know he might literally kill him for doing something like that, though.

“ _Toss a coin on his buttocks, oh valley of plenty, oh valley of--_ ”

“JASKIER!”

The sudden shout caused the bard to freeze in place. With a pout he sulked as he walked back up to where Geralt was standing. “What? I thought you were enjoying my song.”

“There’s no way anyone would enjoy a song like that.”

“Don’t lie. I can see that slight smile on your face.”

Geralt bit his lip. He _was_ trying to fight back a smile, hoping that Jaskier wouldn’t catch on, but it looked like his plan didn’t work. He bit his cheek to try and help his face stay neutral.

“Have I ever told you how much I hate you?” Geralt’s eyes narrowed at him as he spoke, but Jaskier only chuckled as he shook his head.

“You know you’re a terrible liar, right?” He leaned in with his lips puckered, and Geralt rolled his eyes before pulling Jaskier in and planting a kiss on his mouth.

The kiss ended as quickly as it happened, and Geralt wrapped an arm firmly around the bard’s waist to push him forward.

“Enough distraction, we’re almost to the city. And no more singing.”

“Fine. You’re no fun.”

Instead of singing, Jaskier hummed the rest of the way there. As far as Geralt was concerned, that was better than having to listen to those damned lyrics again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I get this song stuck in my head every single day, of course I had to write about it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idea from a comment on the previous chapter-"I need a version of this where Jaskier is singing the original song in a tavern but wiggling his eyebrows at Geralt and he just bursts and chokes on his ale"

They reached the city before sundown, and the first thing they did was drop off Roach at a stable before Geralt said he wanted to get a drink at a tavern to relax. Jaskier argued, saying they should wash up first since they smelled like dirt and sweat.

“Everyone will be too drunk to care.” Geralt said.

“So what? That doesn’t give us a pass to be disgusting.”

“You can either go to an inn on your own or come with me and stop complaining. It’s up to you.” And with that, Geralt turned away from him and started walking.

Jaskier sulked, but chose to follow him. He didn’t want to be alone, even if it meant having to go out in public looking like a barn animal.  
\--------  
“Good lord, who let you two out of the barn?” The barmaid wrinkled her nose as she served Geralt a tall glass of ale. Jaskier exchanged a look with and raised an eyebrow. His expression screamed _’Do you see what I mean_ now _?!’_

“It’s not that bad, is it?” Geralt asked her.

“It’s horrible. But as long as you’re paying me, I won’t kick you out.” She eyed him up and down, before saying, “Besides, you seem kind of familiar…?”

Jaskier’s ears perked up. “Perhaps his name will ring a bell.” He slapped Geralt on the back, causing him to grunt. “This is ‘Geralt of Rivia’!”

The barmaid’s eyes widened in recognition. “Ooh, you mean from that song?”

Geralt looked dead on at Jaskier, shaking his head ‘no’, but Jaskier only smiled in return as he hopped off the barstool. “You mean **this song**?”

The tavern customers had curiously turned their heads to Jaskier as he propped up his lute, and Geralt slouched over, looking straight into his cup. He only wanted to come here to relax, but Jaskier just _had_ to take this chance to show off.

“ _When a humble bard, graced a ride along, with Geralt of Rivia, along came this song~_ ”

‘Nope. Not dealing with this.’ Geralt kept his eyes fixed straight ahead as Jaskier played beside him, doing his best to ignore his attempt to rile him up. Jaskier made it hard, though, as he purposely bumped into Geralt to get his attention. When he shot a death glare at him, Jaskier winked back.

“Don’t ignore your fans, Geralt! _From when the White Wolf fought, a silver-tongued devil, his army of elves, at his hooves did they revel~_ ”

“Jaskier…” Geralt said in a low voice, a pitiful attempt to get him to stop. He wasn’t usually one to be embarrassed, but right now he felt so embarrassed that he wanted to die. Most people would think the expression he had on his face right now was murderous, but Jaskier knew the truth behind that angry looking frown.

“ _They came after me, with masterful deceit, broke down my lute and they kicked in my teeth~_ ”

Geralt took a large swig from his cup, hoping that it would numb out the pain. He shifted his gaze to the side, only to catch Jaskier staring at him and waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Geralt sputtered and choked on his ale, and his heart started beating rapidly. He knew the line that was coming next.

“ _At the edge of the world, fight the mighty horn--_ ”

 _’At the tip of his cock, feel his mighty horn…’_ The memory of his humiliating lyrics caused Geralt to jump out of his chair and slam coins on the table, before grabbing Jaskier and walking out. There were some boos from the crowd, telling him to let Jaskier finish, but he ignored them.

When they got far enough away, Geralt let go of his hand and turned towards him. “All this to try and get me to leave sooner. Are you happy?”

“It wasn’t _just_ to get you to leave sooner. You know I enjoy a good show.” Jaskier beamed, and then tacked on, “and yes, I am happy.”

“That makes one of us.” Geralt huffed and started walking away, causing Jaskier to chase after him.

“Aw, don’t be like that. You know it was just a joke.”

Yes, even though Geralt fights with various monsters and beasts regularly, he was certain that one of Jaskier’s “jokes” would be what kills him one day.


End file.
